Not really sure I want to lay this out there but what the heck! It’s been heavy on my mind and I need to “talk” about it.
My life has been a train wreck of late, which has caused a lack of crafting/sewing and a lack of the will to blog. I have been kind of depressed lately.
Along with what seems to be the usual financial and family issues, I have come to the realization that I have an emotional eating disorder. I eat when I am depressed, anxious, lonely, stressed, bored, you name it. Food is my tool of choice for comfort. Of course, the benefits of emotional eating are that you get to become morbidly obese and have various health and mental health issues including depression and very low self esteem.
You have to love yourself to take care of yourself and this is something I am going to have to learn, somehow. I don’t think I have loved me in a very long time. We all have issues in our childhood and our past that have left emotional scars and I can certainly think of quite a few. What I do not understand is how a person can recognize what is wrong and why things are the way they are but is still incapable of “fixing it”. If you know what your inner demons are and why they are, then why can’t you make them go away. The monster in the closet goes away when exposed to the light, so why don’t the demons go away when they are figured out? There should be some sort of closure, right?
Hubby is very supportive of me but he was raised with the mentality that you can just have the will power to get over things without doctors, drugs and therapists – those are for the weak. Therapy might as well be a four letter word in my house.
I am not really sure what the next step is that I need to take but I do think that writing about it will help to a certain degree. I have found others online that are battling similar demons and some have conquered them. Maybe I should give myself a deadline – if I cannot overcome this by my own methods by the end of this year, then perhaps the next step has to be therapy…*Gulp!*
Have a wonderful weekend Dear Ones. I will do my best to keep my nose out of the fridge!